idahophoenix


Idahophoenix: Flail! In a hip and jaded sort of way.


Eber Lambert Gives A Witty Dad Talk About Adam
idahophoenix
This is just a treasure for anyone interested in Adam and family.  Even though I happen to love Oklahoma! I love Eber describing Adam as their musical Alex P. Keaton. Listen--it is so worth it!

It's Dark Because You Are Trying Too Hard.
idahophoenix
Desert Dream
>Who knew the author of Brave New World could write like this?

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. 
Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.

Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. 
Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. 


I was so preposterously serious....Collapse )

I am In Love with Adam's Va Jay Jay(s)
idahophoenix
Still on a high from last night's concert at Fantasy Springs.  He was ridiculous, hot, silly, insanely talented, did I say ridiculous?, and all around wonderful.  But the real revelation to me is that I can finally say that I'm in love with Adam's Va Jay Jay--finally making my whole lesbian crush on this gay man make sense ;)  The two women who sing with Adam are amazing--I love seeing him singing with them, and I gotta love me some brilliant, fat, gorgeous women.  As a fat woman myself, I've sort of wondered if Adam's self-hatred around his weight extends to feeling that way about other people--but it's clear that he fucking adores these women.  And so do I! 

Have to check out of my hotel right now, but just wanted to Flail! for a minute. Perhaps more later.

Did You Ever Grow Anything In The Garden Of Your Mind?
Rainbow Burn
idahophoenix
The incomprable Mr. Rogers--a groovy, moving remix.  This is my new favorite song, video.  It's good to be curious about many things.


Family Speaks Out about Legacy of Their Gay Son
idahophoenix
This  family is so touching.  I didn't realize that they didn't know about Jamie's You Tube It Gets Better until after his suicide. They have great grace, humor and I'm just awed by them.

On a shallower note, as much as I adore Max Adler, I really want to smack fandom which is using this video to comment on how sexy he and Grant Gustin are. Can we just a tiny bit of perspective please.  (Cranky. I know, I'm cranky.)

Gratitude and Sorrow
idahophoenix
Thank you so much for all the comments. I'm still just posting from phone...will reply individually when I get to a computer and will create the filter for talking about S and my experience. For now, trigger warning for pit bull attack and discussion of trauma.

I've read a lot of your responses to Sparrowhawk...she finds it comforting and amazing that all these folks she doesn't even
en know are "with" her. This is the redemptive value of an experience like this. And there is much to say on this, burke I just need to talk about how awful it is.

Flashbacks. She has them when she closes her eyes. She can't feed herself or scratch an itch. She laughs about how her world has narrowed to whether there should be one pillow or two under her injured arms...getting them at the right ang

le means sleep and less pain. She jokes with my 6 year old nephew about looking like a pirate. He explains earnestly to me, when we're back in the lobby, that different dogs have different size mouths...and that a pit bull's mouth is big enough to bite your chin off. We agree that we are happy S still has her chin....and that it is funny that all the stitches make it look like she has a beard. Nephew reassures me that she doesn't look like Frankenstein.

I can't stop thinking. I am worrying tonight about all the details...work that's overdue, a credit card I need to cancel since I lost my wallet Friday (before the attack), what it will be like to live next door to the family who owned the dogs, why my house is such a mess and OMG my sister is going to find out I smoke and, shit, did we put away the vibrator and the way I can see actual paw/claw/claw prints on Sparrow's breast and how close they got to her jugular and, god, we love dogs, please don't make this change that and all my procrastination at work leaves me in a shitty place to miss work and how can the worlds go on when god damn it, three dogs tried to kill my lover.

Writers write when the going gets tough
idahophoenix
I am officially freaking out. How can such a terrible thing happen to such a beautiful person. I was arriving home from being on the road....stopped to buy a goddamn mega lotto ticket. Heard ambulance and police rushing by. Drove down my street...multiple police cars arrayed near my house. I thought it must be a domestic violence case. I turn down my drive and see an ambulance..my sweet sparrow splaued across the drive..a man in a uniform waving me aside. I stop th e car..the world suddenly both vivid and muted. Back up. The man says. She's my wife, I say, grateful that I can say those words, our marriage snuck into the 6 months it was legal in California. He walks up to me and says, " Take a deep breath. She needs you to be calm.". So I do. Blood pouring from her face and arms. Neighbors gathered round...kindness in the midst of horror. Men standing around with long boards in their hands. Only now do I understand those were to beat the dogs away.

I've been pretty calm. Not so much this very minute.

Deep breath again. Ready to go back inside to her hospital room. She is the light of my life and courageous beyond understanding.

My Partner Injured but Ok
idahophoenix
I don't want to put this out on my Facebook, as too many people would descend on us. I also should havea trigger warning for dog attack. Stop reading now if you need to. I'm typing on my phone and can't figure out a cut right now.

My beloved wife was attacked by 3 pit bulls today. She is just out of 4 hours of plastic surgery. She's being funny and worrying because this.is going to delay her learning to do archery. She has a bow and arrow on order.

She adores dogs and is devastated. She has part of her chin gone and major injuries on both arms. We are blessed by amazing circle of friends and family. I want to write more here later...I'm ok. And of course neither of us is ok. I don't want to subject everyone to hearing about this, so will create a filter for those willing to read my process and experience. Let me know with a comment.
We are accepting prayers from wiccans, christians, Buddhists, Jews and everyone ! All you lovely atheists, just send a good thought our way.

So grateful that my beautiful Sparrowhawk is alive, but I know we are st the beginning of a long journey.

Writer's Block: Bookmarks
Rainbow Burn
idahophoenix
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay.  Actually re-read!

You're The Top - NPH, David Burtka and Cole Porter
idahophoenix
Cole Porter would so approve of this rendition of his song.

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